The title of this post is a line in one of my favorite songs. It’s a song that if I am being really honest with you, brings me to tears every time I hear it. I can be sitting in the car, playing a game on my computer, or cleaning my house- and if it is one of the songs on my shuffle list, I am sobbing!
There are two lines in this song that always stand out to me--their impact is always the same, no matter how many times I hear them.
The first is “You are still sovereign, even when my circumstances don’t change”; and the second is: “All that has been in my life up ‘till now… it belongs to you”.
The first because, even when I want to be mad at God, and believe that He doesn’t see the trials and pain that I go trough- He does; And just because He sees them, it doesn’t mean that He is going to stop them from entering our lives. He knows the outcome, and He sees the fruit that trials produce.
The second, because when I try and hold my past and the mistakes I have made over my own head, God reminds me that all of it belongs to him; and even when we make mistakes, he uses them for something good; for his purposes, and the greater picture.
For the longest time I would ask why I went through things in my life, or why things couldn’t just be easy, and “normal”. Now, with a little bit of time and understanding, I realize that our past allows us to help others. Our mistakes and lessons strengthen us to lift others up when the time comes. Sure we don’t always choose the right path or direction to take, but even when we do get off course, and we stray from His ultimate plan, He does some re-arranging and allows us to use our experience to glorify him.
When Matt and I first got married, I made myself believe that I had to fit into a certain “Youth Pastor’s Wife” mold. I thought that I had to wipe away all of my experiences that weren’t quite the same as others around me. Up until a couple of months ago, I was so frustrated… I was trying to be other people around me, who appeared to have the right method for youth ministry.
I recently came to realize that God doesn’t want me in ministry so that I can duplicate others; but that he wants to use me because of the experiences, and person that I ALREADY am! My story, and the lessons I have learned, are more then likely different then yours. And even though we all go through hard situations, in the end our own experience is what we are left with. That is something unique that we can hang on to, and share with those who may need to be encouraged by it.
If you take anything away from this, just know that your life isn’t so screwed up, or so far gone that you can’t make a difference. It doesn’t matter what your job or position is. It doesn’t even matter whether you have been a Christian for 50 years, or never darkened the doors of a church in your life. You are no surprise to God, and He knows that you are human. Take the time to think about your life, and what you have been through, and make a plan to use it to strengthen yourself, and the world around you.