| the jealousy game & making a name |
For a long time I have had issues being happy for other people. I can remember being furiously jealous in high school, later in ministry, and even still to this day. I have to talk myself out of the downward spiral of jealousy on a daily basis.
In a world where everyone wants to be famous, have their 15 minutes of fame, make a name for themselves, glorifying those that we deem "important" --- it is so easy to get caught up in the web of frustrating jealousy.
Jealousy says: "You're not good enough to have what they have". When in reality, you are worthy of having your own story.
Whether or not most of us want to admit it, it is the innate desire to make a name for ourselves that often fuels our jealousy. Great dresser. Awesome speaker. Talented musician. Wonderful person. Successful in ministry. All around good-gal! And when you start viewing others to have attained more than you, that's when the seed starts to take root.
I am attempting to read the whole bible this year, not out of a resolution, or religious practice but as a way to open my eyes beyond the 5 verses I know. Tonight I was reading the story of the Tower of Babel, and there was one verse that jumped off the page for me:
"Come, let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves..." Genesis 11:3 (ESV)
If you don't know this story here is the quick version: The people on earth at that time only spoke one language. They got together, started to plan this tower to reach the heavens, God saw that there was nothing they wouldn't be able to do, so He confused them by giving them all different languages.
I know. Crazy.
From the beginning of time fame has been the desire of the human heart.
It temporarily fulfills our need to feel worthy.
It feeds our addiction for the approval of others.
It falsely satisfies the longing for success.
When you get your eyes fixated on making a name for yourself, God will confuse you to the point of frustration.
Why not me? What makes them better? Haven't I worked just as hard? Am I not worth it? The list goes on and on. The more time that I spend on these questions, the more he frustrates me, because there is no logical answer.
Yes, we are all talented in different areas. Our longings and interests are vast, but the God that is the giver of them all does not hand them out on the basis of favourtism.
God does not play favourites.
He is no "respecter of persons". Meaning, He sees you and the person you are most irrationally jealous of through the same eyes. Love.
It's time to stop trying to live out another person's story, and live your own.
Realizing that comparison is just a distraction to keep you from being YOU.
Understanding life is not a competition.
Knowing that being called to do something different, isn't a lesser call.
Taking the step towards being who you are, and moving away from the standpoint of jealousy.
Moving past the desire to make a name for yourself, and living to glorify His.
He's already given you a name, now start being who He's asked you to be.