Helpless would be another term… although not pitiful.
Comfortable, and it’s making me uncomfortable.
When I am at work, I basically do the same thing 8 times over, over an 8 hour period. I sit in the same spot, clean the same sequence of teeth, with my body in the same position all day long. It doesn’t sound like it would be taxing… but after a while, sitting in the same spot, in the same way is very uncomfortable.
Usually by my last patient my upper arm is tense, my back is semi-numb, and my legs are twitching.
For the last few months I have been dragging my feet, wandering around my own little world with a heavy heart, bored with my life, and wondering why I am so dissatisfied with a life I had dreamed of only a few years ago.
After years of believing that repetition will be the key to my happiness, to know what the next step will be, to have it all planned… I am learning that being comfortable can be very uncomfortable.
There is something to be said about being stretched.
There is something to be said about not knowing how it’s all going to work out.
There is something to be said about letting God have His plan for my life, and not having my plan for my life.
There is something to be said about allowing ourselves to be happy, and not entering “self sabotage” mode just because we are scared.
See, what I thought was that being comfortable would give me peace. I thought it would give me joy. I thought it would be what I had always dreamed of.
Being comfortable has made me uncomfortable.
It has made me restless.
It has caused me to wander around aimlessly, without a dream or a song.
It has caused me to separate myself from my talents and run from anything that may stretch me.
In a world where the majority of people just want to be comfortable, and know what tomorrow holds; all of us desiring security and peace, there is a God who’s ways are nothing like ours. He longs to take us from a life of mediocrity & small-mindedness, and fill it with excitement and big dreams. And it is never comfortable.
It is a dangerous territory when we forget that there is an enemy roaming the Earth looking to ruin our lives, and keep us where we are at. He loves to see us depressed and full of self pity, because it paralyzes us. I am filled with hope and expectancy when I remember that Jesus came so that we may HAVE life, and live it to the fullest (John 10).
I have spent too much time paralyzed by my own perceptions and ideas of “comfortable”. It is time to start longing and searching for the fullest life available through Christ.
Last week I went to the massage therapist for the first time ever. I was expecting a relaxing hour-long visit, very little pain, and soothing experience. Within the first 5 minutes I realized that my back was very tense from the repetition in my life, and that getting it “worked out” was not going to be the blissful experience I was expecting. As I was laying there the pain that I was experiencing felt so good, even though I was so uncomfortable, and the after results were worth the squirm.
Lord, please bring me to the place where I am living a full life.
Give my peace, not because I know where I am going, but because I know that you are going with me.
Allow me to cherish the moment, because tomorrow is not a promise.
Use the little that I have to leave a big impact, because it’s all for You, anyway.